Boogie Nights

Why is it, as you become an adult you can only justify shaking your tail feather with alcohol??? I have music running in my blood and I’d like to shake my groove thing on occasion. Its like we’ve reverted back to junior high we’re everyone is awkward and uncomfortable with who they are and getting down.

What do you say, my house Saturday night for dance fever?

Love lifted me...

Isn’t it crazy to think about how abundant God is? How he knows exactly what you need in life? I believe life is one great big puzzle filled with smaller ones that complete the full picture of life. Sometimes God gives you a piece of the puzzle and it is so amazing to step back and see the art of what He has been creating.

This has happened to me several times in many different ways. I had an epiphany today revealing my most recent puzzle picture.

God gave me in laws to teach me about having a strong marriage and what it means to really love your spouse after years and turmoil, how to stay connected and never stop trying. God gave me parents to show me how to really parent. To love like a parent is supposed to-encourage, uplift, discipline, laugh with, cry with, protect, let pain happen - all of it.

Sometimes, we may feel like we drew the short straw. I’ve looked around and seen people that may have the parents that taught them more about making money or receiving great gifts-like a house - and although these things are good, I thank my Lord and Savior that I have been taught what it means to love.

I am not afraid of...

punishing animals when they have done something wrong
new beginnings
cutting my hair
beating someone in a game
losing to someone in a game
tattoos
waxing my face
riding on a motorcycle
having a drink
laughing til I cry
honesty
standing up for my beliefs
compromise
getting old
laughing at dumb stuff
shaking my bootie
organizing just about anything
getting dirty
working hard
cleaning bathrooms
helping others
cussing (for laughs or as needed)
smile
ask for gum
letting people know they are in my space
prayer
bugs
peeing in a pool ;)
not brushing my teeth before I go to bed
use spell check on everything
hold others accountable

I am afraid of...

touching trash cans
going to the bathroom at night alone
life without Chad
child birth
confronting people
crying
letting others comfort me
falling asleep without the t.v. on
falling asleep after Chad
being strapped down (like Dorothy on return to OZ)
loving one of our dogs more than the other
ending on a bad note with someone
going head first in to sleeping bags (thanks Joey)
losing a job
seeing my parents age
not measuring up
people knowing the real me
having a daughter (paybacks are hell)
never having lifetime friends
being left at the store
my feet getting bigger
my hips getting wider
Chad not wanting me anymore
people finding out I don’t really know what I'm doing at work
being called out in public
flying off roller coasters
being boring
never being satisfied
not being special
facial hair on myself
my selfishness
standing on shower tile floors

I got chills...

I am not sure how I became such a germ-a phobic… I still shiver at the thought of sitting on a truck stop toilet, I really don’t even like going in most of them. Sometimes people think they are being sweet by giving me the “warm” seat and sliding over, but please don’t. The thought of sitting in a spot where your “hiny” has been completely grosses me out! I’m not saying “my shit don’t stink” I am just saying I am not keen on using a bathroom that is warm – and I know you know what I am talking about!

I also get the hebby gebbies thinking about touching trashcans pretty much anywhere. I want to take showers immediately after going to the movies. I carry hand sanitizer in my purse. I hate shaking hands with strangers at church after they did who knows what with their hands. I fight urges to run after people when I see they didn’t wash their hands in the restroom. The thought of drinking out of a glass in a public place and not using a straw turns my stomach- thanks to the HSU café.

These are just a few on the things I find disgusting and full of germs. Welcome to my world!

Favoritism

As I have discussed with several of you, I am convinced that within each family “unit” there is a favorite child. If you disagree, you are the favorite. Sometimes this is displayed very openly. Like when you get a movie for your birthday and your sibling gets a lazy boy. Sometimes this favoritism is shown much more subtle. The preferred child usually thinks everyone is getting that much attention, they may even feel suffocated. During this time the unfavored is screaming for any kind of attention…

I am not asking for things to change or expecting things to be fair, all I am asking is for it to be recognized. Stop pretending it doesn’t take place.

P.S. I have noticed that typically favorites marry favorites and visa versa.

I lie to make friends.

“I lie to make friends.” This is one of the first things I heard my future sister in law saw years ago… It’s funny because I always thought that was weird and she would never make any friends that way!

As I evaluate her life as well as my own, I am realizing maybe I should fabricate some truths to people to make friends!!! She is well liked by many. I am well … liked by few. She always has someone to talk to at an event, I stand alone wondering why I came and do I look as lonely as I feel. (I must let you know that with a little tequila in me, I can work a room like a pro!)

Watch out world, I may just try this out and see if I am the social butterfly at my next event!!!

What life is all about...

With each year added to my life, I understand what its all about… Life is all about something some of the more creative children did when they were below the “must be this tall” roller coaster signs (some of you continued on far too long). Life is about pretending. Think about it… How often do you pretend to be busy at work-or at least you aim to look busy when your supervisor walks by. I am currently working on a document. J

You pretend to care about someone else’s problems to be able to play the political game in life (“Oh, that is so sad you did not get the promotion, you deserved it…”). You pretend to want to go to your cousins wedding. You pretend your family is not crazy (chanting “they are normal, they are normal” does not work, I’ve tried!)… All of this make believing literally makes you believe. It becomes a reality, the line becomes blurry…. Sometimes we pretend we don’t hear something so we don’t have to do it, we like to call those a “miscommunication.”

My advise: write allot of “documents,” walk fast, and always carry papers around with you while looking frantic!

Who am I???

Before you begin reading, read the title again as Derek Zoolander.

We are opening our home to a group of high school girls this weekend. This should be a simple process-they eat and gab and learn how to lead a Godly life, you know a normal Disciple Now… Why is it that I have lost the since of girl time and am afraid to be around these adolescents? I am only 7 years older to them, but I remember being 17 and thinking 24 was a LONG way away… We are attempting to get involved with the youth group, but we are so timid to be around them… What has the “real” world done to us???
How is it that at 17 I was more confident of who I was than I am now? That seems a little ass backwards if you ask me. (Some of you are uneasy that I used church and a cussword in the same blog-sorry) I guess I knew who I didn’t want to be in high school and that made me very aware of whom I was. Who knows? What I do know is that these girls are not the least bit timid about being in a strange home with strangers while I am worried I might have to actually talk to them!!!